Even in this place one can survive, and therefore one must want to survive, to tell the story, to bear witness; and that to survive we must force ourselves to save at least the skeleton, the scaffolding, the form of civilization. We are slaves, deprived of every right, exposed to every insult, condemned to certain death, but we still possess one power, and we must defend it with all our strength for it is the last — the power to refuse our consent.
“
| — | Primo Levi, Survival in Auschwitz (via hateshiploveship) |
I’m sitting here alone in my bed in the middle of the night and all I can think about is “how did I end up here?”
How do I always end up alone each night? How did I drift from my very few friends? How did I end up on anti depressants? How did I end up being referred to an eating disorder clinic?
I have no fucking clue.
I am afraid. I am not solid, but hollow. I feel behind my eyes a numb, paralyzed cavern, a pit of hell, a mimicking nothingness… I want to kill myself, to escape from responsibility, to crawl back abjectly into the womb. I do not know who I am, where I am going - and I am the one who has to decide the answers to these hideous questions… There is nowhere to go.
“
| — | Sylvia Plath (via sickly-thin) |
